I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
