I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left