oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......