5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
