I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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