oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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