ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club