everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag