Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.