You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
