She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma