I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
