I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
