It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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