i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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