i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
