That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We just shotgunned beers for America
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
