What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
