True but thats because hes a fetus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
