Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
