I hope mine doesn't look like that
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk is not a location!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
