How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
