Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
