I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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