love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
