My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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