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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
