You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
that may or may not have been my penis.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
