let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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