Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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