Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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