proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn