Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

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(205): it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!" http://tfl.nu/6ypb

Replies (14) Good night (2492) Bad night (788)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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(250): Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/w09f

Replies (36) Good night (905) Bad night (8622)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.

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(250): i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting. http://tfl.nu/gwdw

Replies (16) Good night (3504) Bad night (892)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.

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(612): all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high. http://tfl.nu/s4fq

Replies (33) Good night (6419) Bad night (971)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(978): If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises. http://tfl.nu/xzxa

Replies (8) Good night (4186) Bad night (1547)
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(518): View more from New York

Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.

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(518): Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday. http://tfl.nu/c6q7

Replies (13) Good night (3442) Bad night (1430)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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(704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7

Replies (10) Good night (1641) Bad night (976)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.

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(636): Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us. http://tfl.nu/w51y

Replies (2) Good night (1855) Bad night (755)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.

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(865): I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck. http://tfl.nu/zkmt

Replies (5) Good night (1382) Bad night (715)
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(404): View more from Georgia

And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

So the keyword here is "hammered"?

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(404): And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right? (1-404): So the keyword here is "hammered"? http://tfl.nu/1kxs

Replies (1) Good night (1566) Bad night (524)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.

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(320): Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different. http://tfl.nu/42a5

Replies (5) Good night (1295) Bad night (377)
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(406): View more from Montana

There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.

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(406): There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third. http://tfl.nu/skpd

Replies (19) Good night (611) Bad night (1490)
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(518): View more from New York

I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate

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(518): I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate http://tfl.nu/kwqw

Replies (9) Good night (470) Bad night (942)
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(773): View more from Illinois

You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

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(773): You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night. http://tfl.nu/vj63

Replies (0) Good night (314) Bad night (454)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.

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(860): Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister. http://tfl.nu/yhbd

Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (202)

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