Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

Fav 20 2651 951
share tweet
(856): View more from New Jersey

Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

Fav 10 3716 894
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Toronto

when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college

Fav 43 1628 6619
share tweet
(765): View more from Indiana

I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.

Fav 12 3246 1201
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

Fav 84 2318 7196
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

Fav 3 1867 2683
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo

Fav 15 2886 1209
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.

Fav 0 266 139
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(219): View more from Indiana

so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...

Fav 5 41 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT