Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

  (207): View more from Maine

  OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself (207): OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE (781): Sounds like a good blink 182 concert... http://tfl.nu/nai8
  Replies (27) Good night (924) Bad night (3857)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed? http://tfl.nu/gsu7
  Replies (20) Good night (3974) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  ...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime (724): ...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname http://tfl.nu/hnce
  Replies (62) Good night (7441) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other. http://tfl.nu/8uqn
  Replies (14) Good night (5334) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution. http://tfl.nu/mh7s
  Replies (4) Good night (3693) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/icmx
  Replies (11) Good night (2012) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/3fs0
  Replies (3) Good night (1680) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates. http://tfl.nu/faj1
  Replies (5) Good night (2512) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant. http://tfl.nu/1w7r
  Replies (16) Good night (1437) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone. http://tfl.nu/n7df
  Replies (4) Good night (2397) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor? http://tfl.nu/8nw2
  Replies (12) Good night (1643) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend" http://tfl.nu/taab
  Replies (3) Good night (430) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it. http://tfl.nu/fb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT? http://tfl.nu/k7sq
  Replies (8) Good night (632) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women http://tfl.nu/4eji
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (229)

Randomize