Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.