like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
