I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
