Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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