can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
