so that wasnt chicken after all
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
