Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
