it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
