There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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