Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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