This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no you cant smoke seaweed
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
