I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
