do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
