Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
