It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
