Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
