This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
