im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
