Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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