the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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