Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
