Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
