If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
