marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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