My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
