Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
