i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
