i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
