You really coming over, don't trick.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
no you cant smoke seaweed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
