We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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