Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
