it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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