Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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