Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
