Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
