put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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