Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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