How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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