I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
