I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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